Lieutenant Joe Negro - The Obituary
Lieutenant Joe Negro at his home in Giverny, France, circa 2018.
A voracious reader, Lieutenant Joe Negro contemplates a passage at his Giverny abode.
Tributes have flooded in for philanthropist, cultural observer, political agitator and socialite Lieutenant Joe Negro, who on October 17, 2074 died peacefully, or as he would like to say: “… squeezed gently his way into the Great Unknown.”
Lieutenant Joe Negro will be best remembered for his pointed rants and outlandish stage presence, which was always entranced with a gyrating dance to wild, African music.
Although Joe Negro went great lengths to keep his pedigree under wraps, it is common knowledge that he is the illegitimate son of the late Zaire (now Kingdom of Kongo) dictator, Mobutu Sese Seko. His mother, a US-born exotic dancer, disappeared shortly after the birth of her son. Her body was never found, but it is believed she was kidnapped and disposed of by the dictator’s henchmen in order not to sully the leader’s name. Baby Joe Negro was entrusted to a hand-picked white Christian family in the American south and bequeathed a bottomless trust fund. He was later educated in the United Kingdom.
In 2056, Joe Negro courted international controversy when his home in Iceland was raided and ravaged by the media. Reports say Joe Negro was the only man at the secret shin-ding, surrounded by a plethora of buxom Amazonian beauties of all colours, in all stages of undress and most versatile performance, spread along plush white cushions, vases of marijuana in every room of the palatial abode. The police put an end to the weeklong party but didn't press any charges.
The following year, Joe Negro was summoned by ONE SMALL World (former United Nations) to mediate what, at the time, were capricious, yet potentially catastrophic tensions between the autocratic leaders of thermonuclear powers Grand Korea and Imperial China.
Lieutenant Joe Negro was a devout supporter of the arts, and a particularly proud patron of the painter and writer Mulumba.
He is survived by lovers the four corners of the world.